kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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