there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
