i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
