The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
