I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
