It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
