then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
