Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
