Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
