i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
