I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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