Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
