Buhtt sex?
false alarm. still invincible.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
