You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
