So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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