I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
