she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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