We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
