Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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