Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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