So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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