there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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