I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
