so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
