I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
