I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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