I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
