O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize