ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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