soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
