smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
