It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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