So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
