I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
