Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
