u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
