If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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