he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
