I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
