Yo dont text me then not text me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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