just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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