did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
