Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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