There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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