oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
