TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
