Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
