I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is my gift to your gina
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
