I will die if light touches me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
