i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
