can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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