A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize