never play flip cup with pint glasses
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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