I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Drunk is not a location!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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