Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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