K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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