He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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