But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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