this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
