Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
