...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize